I watched it all in one sitting. I thought it did a beautiful job intertwining the horror and ridiculousness of motherhood and its tropes. I loved the humor of it - just the over the top ridiculousness of the killer baby, allowing no one to get in between it and the mother. So true in so many ways. I am very drawn to these darker portrayals of motherhood these days, too. I watched The Lost Daughter twice and I NEVER watch movies twice. I also really liked watching Pink's documentary - not because it's dark per se, but it just showed a real picture of motherhood that really spoke to me. I have had/still have dark emotions around motherhood. Before having a kid I would judge these as so awful, that woman should not be a mother kind of thing. And now, after experiencing them, (I'm getting help) but also it makes more sense to me now. A child requires so much attention, time, energy it can be enraging. You just want your life back and sometimes the only way to get it back in your mind is to get rid of the child . The choice to love it or kill it is happening over and over again, every day as we navigate the demands of the child. I also have found it interesting the discussion about PPD. In so many moms groups I was in, if a mom was every anxious, depressed, or angry, there was a rush to tell her about PPD and that she should go to her doctor and get treated. While I of course think you should get help for PPD, I also thought where is the space for just having a hard time adjusting to motherhood versus immediately saying it's PPD? It was in this movie too - when she shared her struggles, it was like "oh you must have PPD/something must be very wrong with you." But having lived it, being depressed, angry, anxious just seems like part of the transition process/journey. And so much talk about PPD again kind of makes the experience you're having a "problem" to be solved by medication/treatment versus a hard time that you're going through and of course we understand and we're here to help you. I wonder if we have to see these portrayals of these very dark mothers (and in this move a baby) in order to make some room to just be able to talk about how difficult it is, to talk about the space between I love motherhood and these dark portrayals. And how sometimes we want to escape and that's ok, but the options for escape are pretty dark, especially without supports in place. I've gone on too long. Anyway, I love your work. Thank you for writing.
Yes to all of this. So well put. I agree that PPD is often used to squash the complexity of being a parent, or mark out mothers as flawed or in need of fixing. As you say, of course we should use all resources available to feel better if we are struggling, but under the weight of the institution of motherhood and all the ways it fails parents of all genders, having “dark” moments is sensible and to be expected. AND having dark parts is human. AND we often see them as dark because while our responses are reasonable, the culture we live in tells us they’re pathological. Anyway, thank you for reading, and thank you for this.
I have so many scary poems and difficult?/threatening?) paintings I’ve done that I have had to put away, delete, file for someday that will never come b/c they’re not bowls of flowers or fruit or from “The Catalog of Acceptable Dessert Cart of Art.” Paintings done by the stranger within (like a call from inside the house) by the one who risks the truth in a lie loving world. Makes one sad to always feel the need to wallpaper over one’s windows with the usual Stepford Wallpaper rather than tear down broken, non-serviceable, bland walls for the incredible vista of tolerance & human equity!
Wow! What an incredible write up. I'm watching the show now and am marveling at it and your helpful commentary. Thank you.
Would love to know what you think of the show!
I watched it all in one sitting. I thought it did a beautiful job intertwining the horror and ridiculousness of motherhood and its tropes. I loved the humor of it - just the over the top ridiculousness of the killer baby, allowing no one to get in between it and the mother. So true in so many ways. I am very drawn to these darker portrayals of motherhood these days, too. I watched The Lost Daughter twice and I NEVER watch movies twice. I also really liked watching Pink's documentary - not because it's dark per se, but it just showed a real picture of motherhood that really spoke to me. I have had/still have dark emotions around motherhood. Before having a kid I would judge these as so awful, that woman should not be a mother kind of thing. And now, after experiencing them, (I'm getting help) but also it makes more sense to me now. A child requires so much attention, time, energy it can be enraging. You just want your life back and sometimes the only way to get it back in your mind is to get rid of the child . The choice to love it or kill it is happening over and over again, every day as we navigate the demands of the child. I also have found it interesting the discussion about PPD. In so many moms groups I was in, if a mom was every anxious, depressed, or angry, there was a rush to tell her about PPD and that she should go to her doctor and get treated. While I of course think you should get help for PPD, I also thought where is the space for just having a hard time adjusting to motherhood versus immediately saying it's PPD? It was in this movie too - when she shared her struggles, it was like "oh you must have PPD/something must be very wrong with you." But having lived it, being depressed, angry, anxious just seems like part of the transition process/journey. And so much talk about PPD again kind of makes the experience you're having a "problem" to be solved by medication/treatment versus a hard time that you're going through and of course we understand and we're here to help you. I wonder if we have to see these portrayals of these very dark mothers (and in this move a baby) in order to make some room to just be able to talk about how difficult it is, to talk about the space between I love motherhood and these dark portrayals. And how sometimes we want to escape and that's ok, but the options for escape are pretty dark, especially without supports in place. I've gone on too long. Anyway, I love your work. Thank you for writing.
Yes to all of this. So well put. I agree that PPD is often used to squash the complexity of being a parent, or mark out mothers as flawed or in need of fixing. As you say, of course we should use all resources available to feel better if we are struggling, but under the weight of the institution of motherhood and all the ways it fails parents of all genders, having “dark” moments is sensible and to be expected. AND having dark parts is human. AND we often see them as dark because while our responses are reasonable, the culture we live in tells us they’re pathological. Anyway, thank you for reading, and thank you for this.
I have so many scary poems and difficult?/threatening?) paintings I’ve done that I have had to put away, delete, file for someday that will never come b/c they’re not bowls of flowers or fruit or from “The Catalog of Acceptable Dessert Cart of Art.” Paintings done by the stranger within (like a call from inside the house) by the one who risks the truth in a lie loving world. Makes one sad to always feel the need to wallpaper over one’s windows with the usual Stepford Wallpaper rather than tear down broken, non-serviceable, bland walls for the incredible vista of tolerance & human equity!