Yes! If I heard one more bachelor comment on what drew them to the show and Joan was her "selflessness" I was going to vomit. They were literally saying the quiet part out loud "I want you to live for me and sacrifice for me." I suspect Joan is a woman of her roles and really has no idea who she is outside of those roles, and maybe that is A-OK with her, that's who she's wanted to be (roles -- wife, mother, grandmother, etc..). I also suspect that the reason she found herself at the Golden Bachelor, and now the The Golden Bachelorette, is b/c she is ready "to be seen" again and to "feel special" again, in that "wife" role -- that's what she sees as lacking, not a lack of self-awareness of who she is at her core without being described with a role-adjective. And b/c of media, the only way she gets to where she is are all the things you've described -- thin, blonde, looks way younger than 61, etc.. And ofc add in that she continues that Disneyfied cultural narrative that is poured down every girl's throat from birth -- find a man, get married for life and live for your man (and later, kids) -- you will only be "seen" through a man's eyes and your value to him in your wifey role. I'm so over it. And all my young adult daughters watch this show (and all the diff franchises) and prob dream of their own fairytale and wedding and selfless life, b/c of course they would -- that's also what they watched me do (4 kids, SAHM after giving up a high-paying legal career to stay home b/c that's what would be "easier" for my husband and his career). I too will be described as "selfless" at my funeral. Yay.
I have fallen asleep twice during the premiere so I don’t know if I will end up watching this iteration- it has the same problems as the franchise in general because it still puts a very hot 61 yo widow in the position of choosing a new husband/next “love of her life.”
I was moved by the story of her husband and pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease- one of my closest law school friend’s mom died at 57 yo about a month before we graduated from pancreatic cancer and I know her dad has not pursued a serious relationship in the last 11 years. I somewhat think the men are trying to indicate that they will understand her existing family will still come first because of the Gerry and Theresa drama but I often find the show devolves into more silliness as the weeks progress.
Dotun and Charity have been my favorite leads in recent years because I saw a genuine connection between her and his family at hometowns. I know they’re trying to make an interesting show but I just wish they would trust the audience enough to take more risks. Rachel Lindsay is still my favorite Bachelorette and I know her season had the lowest ratings but I appreciated how she advocated for herself.
I was just thinking yesterday that I hadn’t heard about golden bachelorette from you yet. I’ve never watched the franchise, so when I notice a headline about it, I wonder about your perspective. This is an insightful analysis as always.
This is the first show in this franchise that my wife and I are watching. We are the same age as Joan. For us the entertainment is trying to decide whether any of the men are suitable for her. But I agree with your point that she is not at all representative of the typical American 61 year old woman. Nor really are the men. But that's TV.
Yes! If I heard one more bachelor comment on what drew them to the show and Joan was her "selflessness" I was going to vomit. They were literally saying the quiet part out loud "I want you to live for me and sacrifice for me." I suspect Joan is a woman of her roles and really has no idea who she is outside of those roles, and maybe that is A-OK with her, that's who she's wanted to be (roles -- wife, mother, grandmother, etc..). I also suspect that the reason she found herself at the Golden Bachelor, and now the The Golden Bachelorette, is b/c she is ready "to be seen" again and to "feel special" again, in that "wife" role -- that's what she sees as lacking, not a lack of self-awareness of who she is at her core without being described with a role-adjective. And b/c of media, the only way she gets to where she is are all the things you've described -- thin, blonde, looks way younger than 61, etc.. And ofc add in that she continues that Disneyfied cultural narrative that is poured down every girl's throat from birth -- find a man, get married for life and live for your man (and later, kids) -- you will only be "seen" through a man's eyes and your value to him in your wifey role. I'm so over it. And all my young adult daughters watch this show (and all the diff franchises) and prob dream of their own fairytale and wedding and selfless life, b/c of course they would -- that's also what they watched me do (4 kids, SAHM after giving up a high-paying legal career to stay home b/c that's what would be "easier" for my husband and his career). I too will be described as "selfless" at my funeral. Yay.
I have fallen asleep twice during the premiere so I don’t know if I will end up watching this iteration- it has the same problems as the franchise in general because it still puts a very hot 61 yo widow in the position of choosing a new husband/next “love of her life.”
I was moved by the story of her husband and pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease- one of my closest law school friend’s mom died at 57 yo about a month before we graduated from pancreatic cancer and I know her dad has not pursued a serious relationship in the last 11 years. I somewhat think the men are trying to indicate that they will understand her existing family will still come first because of the Gerry and Theresa drama but I often find the show devolves into more silliness as the weeks progress.
Dotun and Charity have been my favorite leads in recent years because I saw a genuine connection between her and his family at hometowns. I know they’re trying to make an interesting show but I just wish they would trust the audience enough to take more risks. Rachel Lindsay is still my favorite Bachelorette and I know her season had the lowest ratings but I appreciated how she advocated for herself.
I was just thinking yesterday that I hadn’t heard about golden bachelorette from you yet. I’ve never watched the franchise, so when I notice a headline about it, I wonder about your perspective. This is an insightful analysis as always.
Hi Amanda,
This is the first show in this franchise that my wife and I are watching. We are the same age as Joan. For us the entertainment is trying to decide whether any of the men are suitable for her. But I agree with your point that she is not at all representative of the typical American 61 year old woman. Nor really are the men. But that's TV.