The great divide

Closing arguments in an election defined by misogyny and feminist refusal

This week, Donald Trump vowed to protect the women of our country “whether the women like it or not,” and I thought of all the men from whom I’ve needed protection throughout my life.

I thought of all the women who have died recently and over centuries, because men see politics as a game— a thought experiment.

I thought of all the stupid shit that has been said in recent months that I absolutely will not waste my time quoting and citing here because there is just too much of it and all of it tells the exact same story about male entitlement, grievance, and power.

I thought, as I have many times before, about the suffering of women that has become so normalized, so part of everyday conversation, that women are dying, have been dying, and we fail to see it, to take it seriously, to read the writing on the wall, which is that none of this was built for us. It was built for them. And they really don’t want to let us have anything.

It’s been a curious time to move through a fundamental shift in my relationships with men during this election, and it is not a coincidence. I am done playing nice with men who do not understand what is happening in this country. I am done patiently explaining things to men, and tediously listening to them explain things to me. I am extremely done being told what to do or carrying water for institutions and narratives that quietly and stridently trap and harm women.

Many women feel this way. They’ve come to me with their stories and questions and deepest hurts. So far, they seem to be turning out. And I hope with everything in me that this is reflected at the polls this week. But I just don’t know.

I am certain that this election has forever changed relationships between men and women in this country, in more ways than we realize. In a recent rousing speech, Michelle Obama patiently explained to men how women’s bodies worked, and demanded that they “take our lives seriously” because we are your wives, mothers, daughters and nieces.

But when will it be enough that we are simply human?

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming days and weeks, but here are some final thoughts to take with you: